Knock it off!
Keep saying you're innocent!
Don't let them see you're afraid!
lt will be all right, son.
l didn't want to do it, sir.
l didn't mean it.
l'm sorry!
Sir?
Won't happen again.
l wanted....
''Private Arthur James Gardner...
...you've been found guilty as charged of the crime of murder.
Your case has been appealed 3 times.
lt has been reviewed 3 times.
The verdict of each court martial has been the same.
Guilty, as charged.''
Anything to say before sentence is carried out?
l didn't mean it.
l'm sorry!
l didn't mean to.
l'm sorry.
Open it up.
Enjoy the show, Major?
l want to see Major Armbruster.
l know where it is.
John! Good to see you!
Don't give me that! We had dinner last night, remember?
Be nice.
Take it easy.
This time it's serious.
You've got to cooperate.
Let's go.
Colonel. The General is waiting, Major.
Major Reisman, sir.
Sit down, gentlemen.
Sit down, Major.
Well, Major, what did you think of the hanging?
Looked very efficient.
Then again, l'm not an expert.
l meant, how did you personally feel about it?
lt wasn't the nicest way to spend an evening.
But it wasn't staged for your entertainment.
l hope that Private Gardner was aware of that.
-Private who? -Private Gardner.
He was the object of the exercise.
There happens to have been a reason.
l've got your service record here.
A lot of fireworks.
A lot of transfers. One tough scrape after another.
Very short on discipline.
l hear you did a pretty good job in ltaly.
Then loused it up by exceeding your orders and that isn't the first time.
l didn't write the reports.
Just what is that supposed to mean?
lt means that l don't necessarily agree with what's in them.
-Maybe you'd like to write your own? -No, thank you, sir.
l'm not very interested in embroidery, only in results.
You hold it right there.
This war was not started for your private gratification.
And you can be damned sure this army isn't run for your personal convenience!
You've been waiting for a transfer for over 2 months now.
With a record like yours, you could go on waiting forever.
However...
...l get orders too.
And right now l have some that sound as if they were made for somebody like you.
Personally, l don't go for this behind-the-lines nonsense.
l think a soldier's job is to wear his uniform and kill the enemy.
But that's another matter.
l'm going to ask General Denton to read these orders just as they came to us.
After that, if you have any questions, you can ask them.
Understand?
''Project Amnesty.
Select 12 General Prisoners sentenced to death...
...or to long imprisonment terms for murder, rape or other violent crimes.
Train these prisoners in the business...
...of behind-the-lines operations in a brief, unspecified time.
Then deliver them secretly into the European mainland...
...and prior to the invasion, attack and destroy the target specified...
...overleaf.''
That's all?
That's all.
What about ''the target specified overleaf''?
Doesn't concern you now.
What do you say, Major?
lt confirms a suspicion l've had for some time now, sir.
Think we might share that suspicion?
l think you should.
Since we are over here to try to win the war...
...it shouldn't be advertised that someone we work for is a raving lunatic.
That's enough, Major!
You are here to be briefed on an operation.
You have permission to ask questions about that operation.
You do not have permission to make personal comments of any kind...
...concerning the officers responsible for its conception. Now is that clear?
So either ask relevant questions or shut up.
ls it relevant to ask why l'm being offered this mission?
lt's not, as you say, ''being offered.''
l'm volunteering.
Exactly, Major. l'm glad you look at these things so realistically.
l don't want to appear unduly cautious...
...but if my survival will depend upon the performance of 12 deadheads...
...it might help to know what l have to train them for.
That's a very good question, Major.
Armbruster, let's have that basic outline.
Yes, sir.
''The Germans are using a large chateau near Rennes in Brittany...
...as a rest center and a conference place for General Staff Officers.''
The target has no real military value in itself.
But with these conferences and the like going on all the time...
...every day there's a considerable number...
...of important general officers in residence...
...usually with the benefit of female companionship.
''Eliminating a sufficient number of senior officers...
...would disrupt their chain of command.''
So the idea is simply that our men are dropped by parachute.
They enter the chateau, and they kill as many senior officers as possible.
Naturally, the place is fortified and heavily guarded.
Naturally.
-What's the deal with the men? -None whatsoever.
Let's have no misunderstanding about that.
lt's exactly what it says. An amnesty.
A temporary postponement. Nothing more.
You take it or leave it on that basis.
Like you say, sir, let's not have any misunderstanding.
l don't like it and l think it stinks.
Enough of your insolence!
lt's not a question of insolence, but of practicality.
l'm the guy that has to sell this idea to 12 happy, smiling faces, right?
They have an alternative way to go.
That's no way for anybody to go.
The hell you say!
l know people who should go exactly that way.
But that's beside the point.
Come on, Major, what's your basic objection?
These men are incapable of taking any discipline or authority...
...much less, intensive training.
lf there isn't a possibility for a sentence remission...
...they have absolutely no reason to cooperate, right?
You've got a point.
You've got a point, Major.
But l don't have the power to reverse the findings of a general court martial.
You do have the power to commute such a sentence.
Excuse me, General.
You do have authority under the Visiting Forces Act to make such a ruling.
Visiting Forces Act?
All right, Major. You've got a deal.
Let's say that if any of these men really distinguish themselves...
...we will give serious consideration to commuting their sentences.
That's no deal.
Who's to say whether they really distinguish themselves or not?
You can leave that decision to me.
But remember, the other alternative will apply with equal force.
Any breach of security...
...any failure of discipline, and those prisoners go back where they came from.
Understood?
Good. Anything more, gentlemen?
Yes, sir.
Colonel Breed in the waiting room, l wondered if he's connected with this.
What if he is?
l'd be very unhappy, sir.
Colonel Breed is your superior officer!
And you will behave accordingly. At all times.
ls that clear?
Yes, sir.
lt so happens that Colonel Breed is not concerned with this operation.
He is taking over the Parachute School where part of the training will be.
And l don't want to hear any complaints. From either of you.
You've got a job to do, mister, so move it.
Yes, sir.
Thank you, gentlemen.
Major Reisman is heading toward a court martial of his own.
He's the most ill-mannered, ill-disciplined officer...
...that's ever been my displeasure to meet.
You think so, Denton?
You may be right.
But he's sure right about one thing.
Somebody up there must be a raving lunatic.
Let's get Colonel Breed in here.
Open!
All right, you men, this is an exercise period.
So exercise!
Major Reisman, Sergeant Bowren, sir.
Have the prisoners fall in.
Prisoners!
Fall in!
Franko, get in!
Come on, move!
Hey, you! Move, l said.
Franko, V.R.
Death by hanging.
Vladek, M.
30 years' hard labor.
Jefferson, R.T.
Death by hanging.
Pinkley, V.L.
30 years' imprisonment.
Gilpin, S.
30 years' hard labor.
Posey, S.
Death by hanging.
Wladislaw, T.
Death by hanging.
Sawyer, S.K.
20 years' hard labor.
Lever, R.
20 years' imprisonment.
Bravos, T.R.
20 years' hard labor.
Jiminez, P.
20 years' hard labor.
Maggot, A.J.
Death by hanging.
Have them fall in according to height, right to left.
According to height, forward.
Come on, you jokers!
Get in there. Fall in line.
Come on, move!
Straighten up your jacket there!
Have them count off.
Count off!
One.
-Eleven! -Twelve.
Let's see what they can do with a little close order.
Squad...
...right face!
Forward march!
Squad halt!
About...
...face!
Forward march!
Squad halt!
Right face!
At ease!
What did l say? Or maybe you don't understand English!
What's the matter, Eleven?
l got a pain.
Where does it hurt?
l'll tell you. lt's....
l wish you would. And do it correctly, please.
l don't have to say, sir, to you...
...or anyone else. And l don't have to march.
l know the rules.
Why don't you have to march?
Because condemned men don't have to drill.
And there's nothing you can do about it, mister.
What's your name, son?
Eleven.
His name is Franko, sir.
Come over here a minute. Come on.
Look, little bastard, you march...
...or l'll beat your brains out.
Understand?
What'd you see, sergeant?
l saw the Major attacked by the prisoner and forced to defend himself.
Have the prisoners take him to his cell.
l'll get his feet.
Now let's see what they can do with a little close order.
Yes, sir.
Squad...
...attention!
Right face!
Forward march!
Halt!
About-face!
Forward...
...march!
General prisoner Franko, Victor, sir.
So how's the jaw?
lf you're going to act tough, you should learn how to take care of yourself.
You really should.
You're worried about my jaw?
Franko's pain bothers the Major?
You were a big man with the syndicate back in Chicago?
You've seen my record?
l've seen it, so let's knock it off.
The first thing that happens when you hit London...
...you get involved in a penny-ante stickup. You start blasting...
...and you kill some old guy. And come away with what?
What did you have when they picked you up?
What do you mean, ''what did l have''?
Come on, big shot, don't be modest. How much money did you have?
l had enough!
Two pounds and ten shilling.
That's almost 10 dollars!
And you are going to get hung for a lousy 10 bucks.
-What's that to you? -Nothing.
Why don't you get off my back? You didn't come to visit me.
What do you want?
l don't care if they hang you for $10 or 10 cents. lt makes no difference to me.
lt just so happens that, temporarily, l got a little pull around here.
And l might be able to get you off the hook, if l wanted to.
Are you a general?
You're not a general.
And only a general can grant my reprieve.
Look, stupid.
l'm making you a straight proposition. All l want is a straight yes or no.
You talk. l'll listen.
Okay.
You can sweat out the 2 days you have before the hanging...
...or you can join an outfit that l'm putting together.
lf you do that, l'll have you out of here in less than 24 hours.
You'll be worked to death and there's not a beating you won't take.
Then when l'm satisfied with you...
...you'll go where the Army tells you. Chances are you'll get killed anyway.
You don't know Victor Franko.
-Guard. -What's the deal?
What's the deal if l stay alive?
-You might get off the hook. -Count me in.
But you foul up once, anywhere along the line, just once...
...and you'll be right back here at the end of a rope.
Wait a minute.
What's the matter with you?
You think l want to die?
lf you do, then you don't know Victor Franko.
How come you speak German?
My old man was a coalminer in Silesia.
lf he didn't speak German, he didn't dig coal, he didn't eat.
That was the language he spoke when he came to the States.
Pretty tough job in those days, mining.
lt still is.
l don't like officers. Not any of them. l never have.
But you were one yourself.
Yeah, three lousy days.
Somebody thought you'd make a good officer.
They made a big mistake.
You claimed that he was going over the hill.
What the hell are you talking about, ''claimed''?
He was going over the hill!
My outfit was pinned down by the most murderous crossfire!
Half of them bleeding to death. This lover took off like a jackrabbit...
...with the medical supplies on his back.
Only way to stop him was to shoot him!
Anyhow, he had it coming.
But you only made one mistake there.
Guard!
You let somebody see you do it.
General prisoner, Maggot, A.J.
''Maggot, A.J.''
''Death by hanging.''
Hey, Midnight!
Be a good boy, and maybe l'll let you eat with the white folks tomorrow.
Maggot, l see you've got a sense of humor.
The all-American hero...
...laughing in the face of death.
They're not going to hang me, Major.
l never raped that evil slut...
...or any other...
...creature!
The Lord gave me that woman and told me to chastise her.
And then He told you to beat her to death, huh?
l only do what l'm called on to do.
l was in a state of grace.
And that woman, she tried to soil my spirit.
l'm sure you were, Maggot.
But it seems to me l remember a quotation that goes like...
...''Vengeance is mine....''
''Vengeance is mine.
l will repay, sayeth the Lord.''
Paul to the Romans. Chapter 12.
Exactly.
Doesn't that mean...
...that we leave the punishment to His capable hands?
That's right, Major.
That's exactly what it means.
But it doesn't restrict Him to the kind of tools He would use, now does it?
And like l told you, Major...
...l only do what l'm called on to do.
l don't think you're going to hang after all.
l think a man like you is destined for higher things.
Guard!
Besides...
...us Southern boys have to stick together, now don't we?
l sure didn't mean to kill that fellow.
But you do like l say and maybe they won't hang you.
You fixing to kill me some other way?
lt might not come to that.
l reckon the folks would be a sight happier if l died like a soldier.
Can't say l would.
Who does this hotshot major think he is?
Making us play wet nurses to a bunch of scum.
Corporal Morgan...
...you can't find something to do, l'll find something for you.
Now, move it.
Don't sweet-talk me, whitey. You know why l'm here.
Or maybe you think l should have let those cracker bastards...
...go right ahead and castrate me?
Seeing what those guys were trying to do to you, l'd say that you had...
...considerable justification.
Thank you, Mr. Major, sir.
l really do thank you for that.
But the court didn't agree, right?
So where does that leave you?
l'm offering you an alternative. Which means you can keep on fighting.
-Who for, Major? -For yourself, if you want.
With the Krauts, the real master race merchants.
That's your war, man, not mine.
You don't like Krauts, Major, you fight them.
Me? l'll pick my own enemies.
That's your privilege.
But you won't be able to exercise it much longer.
Guard!
Because on March 25th...
...you have a date with the hangman.
That's just 6 days from now.
Buenos días, Major.
l've been going over the transcript of that man's trial.
A couple of things l don't get.
Did he ever claim that he didn't do it?
Beg your pardon, Major, but you haven't been around prisons much, have you?
You see, the first thing one learns in prison, everybody is innocent.
As a matter of fact, this one doesn't say much about that one way or another.
He's only disturbed because we don't allow him to have guitar strings, sir.
You ever lose a man because he hung himself with a guitar string?
No, sir, l haven't, and l'm not about to.
lf he makes the trip, see that he gets the strings.
Yes, sir.
Attention!
Tell the men to be seated.
Take seats!
Guards out.
-Guards out. -Yes, sir.
You heard him! Guards out!
My name, for those of you who may have forgotten, is Reisman.
You've all volunteered for a mission which gives you just 3 ways to go.
You can foul up in training to be sent back for immediate sentence execution...
...or you can foul up in combat...
...in which case, l will personally blow your brains out.
Or you can do as you're told.
ln which case, you may just get by.
You must not attempt to escape.
There will be no excuses, no appeal.
Any breach of either of these conditions by any one of you...
...means that you will all be sent back for immediate sentence execution.
You are, therefore, dependent upon each other.
Any one of you try anything smart...
...and the 12 of you get it, right in the head.
So try to remember that.
Are there any questions?
Sir?
Do we have to eat with niggers?
lt's all right. A gentleman from the South...
...made some kind of inquiries about the dining arrangements.
He and his colleagues are discussing the place card settings. All right?
Thank you, sir.
Look, corporal, fellows. Let's get with it, right?
Remember? Baseball, pitching? Chicago's always had a pitcher.
But now, as far as hitting goes...
...my sister, she can hit better than half them fellows.
Let's move it out!
What do you think, Sergeant?
l think you'll do just fine, sir.
Don't give me that. l said what do you think?
l think the first chance one of them lovers gets...
...he's going to shoot the Major right in the head. Sir.
Thank you, Sergeant.
Okay Franko! Let's go!
Move it out!
Come on.
Over there.
Have the men fall in. Facing me.
On your feet. Fall in over here, double quick. Come on now!
Come on, snap it up!
Jiminez, get in there!
Attention!
Franko! Get rid of that cigarette.
Thank you.
This will be your new home until further notice.
What there is of it, will be built by you...
...but construction will not interfere with your training schedule.
The sooner you get it up, the sooner you'll be sleeping in out of the rain.
You're in charge. l want this compound up and completed within the month.
Thank you.
lf this place was on fire, it'd burn to the ground.
What are you doing over there?
Hey, Maggot! What are you, German?
What are you trying to do, break the window?
All right, Sergeant, fall them in.
Fall in, in front of the hut. On the double!
At ease!
That'll be all for today.
How come they got all the comforts of home?
Why can't we put our floor in?
Why can't we put our windows in?
Mr. Franko...
...with his keen eye for detail, has noted...
...that the prisoners quarters are not yet ready.
The answer to that is simple.
You are not yet ready to occupy that hut...
...with the degree of comfort that you would like.
When l think that you've earned that privilege, l'll let you know.
Reveille is at 05:30. That is all.
You heard the man. Chow time!
Dismissed!
That's it, fellows. Speak up, boys.
That's it, Wladislaw. Wind it up...
...strike one!
Hey, Joseph! ls that the way you did it in Napoleon's navy?
Hey, Franko. Number, please!
Ask the operator for my nickel back.
Why don't you guys just dry up and blow away?
Meanwhile, on the Atlantic Wall...
...the German forces have been preparing...
...a few nice surprises for you gentlemen...
...just in case Mr. Churchill is really foolish enough...
...to attempt an invasion.
He may not be unduly worried about this...
...but then, of course...
...he will not be taking any active part...
...in such an invasion.
What's this guy's name again?
You ought to know. You listen to him every night.
Dumbo, get me a cup of coffee.
Sleepy time!
Jump through this, will you?
Hey, you!
Come here.
You look like an intelligent guy.
You like it here?
No.
You going to stay here?
l ain't got nowhere else to go.
You're an idiot.
Wladislaw! You understand German.
Who is that dame singing about?
lt's about a very lonely girl...
...who's sick and tired of war and being left alone.
Waiting for her man to come home.
Keep that cheap, wailing slut quiet!
Let's cut the community scene!
Get some sleep!
You'll need it!
Up yours.
Creeps. They're all creeps. That's what they are. Creeps.
Where you going?
Going to the can.
-You want me to come with you? -Are you kidding?
They're after Franko!
You trying to get us all hung?
We're all dead anyway. Don't tell me you believe that creep?
Want that bum to make suckers out of you?
Whose side are you on anyway?
What's with you?
What is this anyway?
Uncle Tom week?
You come with me, we're home free.
He doesn't give a damn--
lf we go on that mission, we'll all get killed. That's what they want!
Those idiots are going to get shot. They're not even due for hanging.
You.... You slob!
What do you think you've got coming?
Slipped on a bar of soap?
Yeah.
Pull with your arms. Hold with your legs.
Come on, Jiminez! Move it.
When the time comes, you've got exactly 34 seconds to clear that distance.
l really can't make it!
Come on, Jiminez. Move it!
Don't stop now!
l can't. l can't!
Come on, Jiminez. Move!
l really can't.
l can't make it.
Jiminez...
...you come down that rope, you're going straight back to prison.
l can't!
Give me that weapon. Take a stay on that rope.
l can't make it!
l can't!
Boy, look at him go now!
Gracias a Dios.
You couldn't make it?
Let's see a little of that Apache know-how.
Rethread that pulley and get another rope down here.
-Yes, sir. -Come on!
Give these other characters a crack at immortality.
You said Mayonnaise was the only one supposed to get on top of that chateau.
But suppose Jiminez gets killed...
...before he gets to the top of that chateau?
Come on, Posey. Move it!
Get that thing up here. We'll have it ready in a minute.
All right, Franko, you're next.
So much for hygiene on the field.
Which one of you would like to stick this in the Major?
lt's going to help the war effort.
Sit down. You'll get your chance.
Let's see....
Me?
-Step out here! -l'd rather not, sir.
lt's just an example. Come on. Step out here, please.
Will you hold this knife?
lt's got a scabbard on it. lt can't hurt anybody.
Tell me, Posey. What'd they lock you up for?
l mean, what did you do?
l already told you that, sir.
Tell me again. l'm sure that your friends would like to know too.
-What'd you do, Posey? -Yeah, fill him in.
This fellow wouldn't stop pushing me. l don't like to be pushed, so l hit him.
Killed a man with your bare hands, because he shoved you?
l only hit him once.
Only hit him once.
Drove his jawbone right through his brain, because he pushed him.
-l didn't mean to kill him. -You didn't mean to, but you did.
What if you meant to kill somebody? Could you do it?
lf you had to kill somebody with a knife, you think you could do it?
-Come on, tell me. -l'd rather not.
l don't care what you'd rather do.
Come on, stick that knife in me. You can do that.
l don't want to do this.
Come on, just stick it right here in me. lt won't hurt.
-l don't want to hurt you. -You won't. l'm going to hurt you.
Stick me with the knife.
-l don't want no trouble. -You've got none.
l'll give you all the trouble you'll ever get.
Just stick that knife right there. Right there.
You're a big boy.
You killed a man because he shoved you? l'm shoving you.
Let me have it.
Stick him!
l'm talking to you.
Give it to me, or l'll shove you through the wall!
Give it to him!
Give me that knife. l want that knife.
-l don't like being shoved! -You're being shoved.
Stick him!
Knock him cold!
Posey? What a name for a guy like you!
-Stop it. -l'm giving orders around here.
l don't like to be pushed!
Stop pushing!
Yes, sir.
You all right?
Yeah.
Now, relax!
Get up!
You learn how to take care of that temper of yours...
...ain't nobody'll take this knife away from you.
You're right. l'm sorry.
We're all set.
Go see Captain Kinder for a few minutes.
-What's he going to do? -He's just going to talk to you.
Brush yourself off and go in there.
Which of you gentlemen is next?
l'm looking for a volunteer.
All right, Maggott...
...you're next.
Speed it up, men. Speed it up!
They're looking pretty good.
l hope they don't forget what they're getting in shape for.
Captain Kinder figures he can teach me letters.
Expect l'll be plum proud if l could write them.
That would put you way ahead of most of the guys around here, wouldn't it?
Better fall in and join them.
lt is true that l've been blessed...
...with an insight into women that others don't have.
And sometimes....
Sometimes l'm called upon...
...to use it in our beloved Master's will.
lf women are your special province, why do you hate Major Reisman so much?
There are 11 evil men out there.
And they must be punished for their wickedness.
This Major Reisman snatched them up from the brink of the pit...
...and he cheated the Master of His vengeance.
And you think that's what God wants, to punish these men?
He will, Captain.
He will.
And Major Reisman too.
What does that give you?
lt doesn't give me anything. But along with these other results...
...it gives you the most twisted, antisocial...
...bunch of psychopathic deformities l have ever run into.
And the worst...
...the most dangerous of the bunch, is Maggott.
You've got one religious maniac, one malignant dwarf...
...two near idiots...
...the rest l don't want to think about.
l can't think of a better way to fight a war. How very funny.
But the results of these tests point out...
...that each has a built-in resentment against authority.
Any kind.
Don't you?
This is different. They think the United States Army is their enemy.
-Not the Germans. -They know the United States Army.
But the Krauts haven't done anything to them yet.
Very sophisticated.
At least they know the United States Army.
You can twist it anyway you want. But the point is...
...you are their main enemy.
You are liable to be their number one target.
At least it gives them something in common. That's what's missing.
-What do you mean? -They've come a long way individually.
Further than we have any right to expect.
Not as a unit. Not as a group. They've got to function as a team.
-And that's what's lacking. -Putting them on guard duty will help?
lt might give them a sense of participation.
l don't know.
Why don't you let me weed out the real morons? Especially Maggott.
l didn't pick them, the Army did.
And l didn't pick the assignment either.
This is one time the Army's going with a starting lineup. All the way.
-lncluding Maggott? -lncluding Maggott. Cheers.
Cheers.
We could always get hurt, right?
Why don't you shut up?
What's the matter? You planning to save your mother?
-Why don't you lay off? -Want me to show you how to do it?
All right!
l'll take my arm, put it around your neck.
Very simple. Right?
And then it's all on the leverage.
Learn how to fall, or you'll be in a wheelchair.
That's what l was trying to tell him. You don't know how to fall right.
Here, slob!
That's a bad attitude.
Kind of rough on the little fellow. Like to try that with me?
This is really quite simple.
l'll say one word, then you tell me as fast as you can...
...whatever word comes to mind.
For instance, if l were to say ''happiness,'' you might say, ''children.''
l wouldn't say that.
That was just an example. But if l said, ''ambition,'' what would you say?
l wouldn't say anything.
Let's give it a try, okay?
Weapon.
Baseball.
Knife.
Dodgers.
Officer.
Pitcher.
You seem to be thinking about...
...just one thing, aren't you?
What are you thinking about?
l don't want you to think of just one thing.
l'd like for you to concentrate on each word l throw at you. Okay?
Okay.
Food.
Cincinnati.
Comfort.
Chicago.
What made you say that?
That's what l was thinking about.
The hell with it!
What is it this time?
How am l supposed to shave in cold water?
That's your problem. Where will you get hot water in the field?
The guards got hot water. You got hot water!
-You're in the field! -That's tough.
How come you guys have hot water?
You keep quiet. You keep your big mouth shut!
We ain't shaving in cold water!
-Not if all of you don't. -That's right!
Why don't you shave in cold water?
-Right. -We're not going to shave anymore.
We ain't shaving. We ain't washing, either. Not in cold water.
-ls that right? -The guards got hot water.
-We ain't using cold water! -You can't make us, either.
You're going to get yourself into hot water, Franko.
What are you going to do? Hang us?
What can they do? They can't do nothing.
What are you going to do?
You know, l think Franko might be right this time.
Shaving in cold water won't make us any better soldiers.
Excuse me, sir. We got some trouble outside.
Yeah, yeah.
l hear.
Fall them in.
Fall in!
On your feet!
Come on over here, Posey!
Dress it up there. Get in line.
What's this about refusing to shave? Who is refusing to shave?
-We are. -Who is we?
We!
All those refusing to shave, take one step forward.
You want to stink, huh?
And maybe itch too?
That's okay with me, because l don't have to smell you.
Sergeant, there will be no further issue of shaving equipment or soap.
And there will be no more hot meals.
Just K rations.
Courtesy of Mr. Franko.
At ease.
-l think we got something there. -That's what the Navy calls mutiny.
Remember what l said about working individually?
-12 rugged individualists? -So?
You heard them. ''We ain't going to do this and we ain't going to do that.''
Even Posey stepped forward.
l bet he's been shaving in cold water since he was a kid.
Boy, do l love that Franko.
That means that we are going to have that much more time for work.
Right?
So now, if you...
...you Dirty Dozen...
...have no objections...
...we will get our equipment...
...and we will start in...
...right now.
Attention!
Step right face!
Attention!
That's very good.
You look just like real soldiers.
Fall out!
Now, move it!
You're still the dirtiest soldiers in this man's Army.
And you're getting filthier every day.
But your training is almost over.
ln 2 days, you'll learn how to jump with a parachute. And you'll learn quick!
This training will take place at a regular Army base.
And l just want to remind you...
...that this operation is secret.
Top Secret.
You will not be wearing dog tags. You will not say anything to anyone.
Understand?
Nothing!
One word, one slip from any one of you...
...and the deal is off.
You all know what that means, right?
All right, serve it up.
Serve up!
Colonel Breed isn't going to like this secrecy bit.
-We're still Top Priority? -You can't ignore his authority!
Do we have the juice or don't we?
Then l don't care what Colonel Breed likes.
Look, you're supposed to be the Liaison Officer.
Get orders to the highest echelon stating to...
...Colonel Everett Dasher Breed, that a group...
...over which he has no authority...
...will arrive on Tuesday, and the men's identities are secret.
Tell him we got a general with them. Tell him any damn thing you want.
But just get that West Point bum off of my back!
Okay?
A general, huh?
l'll see what l can do.
l know you will.
Okay, pig face, serve it up!
What is it?
Don't know. l never ate anything like this before.
Stepped in it a couple of times, but l never ate it.
What did he say it was?
Did you ask what general?
Got the same thing again.
No information beyond what was in the order.
General Denton?
When we first called, his extension was busy. Now he's not there.
Attention!
Not now.
What about you? Nothing, sir.
Not now, you...!
l think they're coming.
lt's them.
Sir, they just passed the checkpoint.
Let's go.
Attention!
Now!
Sounds like we're running into a party.
Boy, you don't suppose it's for us, do you?
Major Reisman reporting, sir.
Where's your general?
He's in the truck, but you understand that he's traveling incognito.
We thought he might care to inspect our Number One Platoon.
lf you give me a moment, l'll see if he's willing to do that.
How come the band?
-What the hell are we waiting for? -lnspecting a guest list.
What guest list?
What's the matter with you?
-Which one of you wants to be a general? -Be a what?
What kind, sir?
Just a plain, ordinary, everyday, home-loving, American general.
l'd rather be a civilian, sir.
What do l have to do?
You've seen generals inspect troops. Walk slow, look dumb and act stupid.
Up one rank and down the other, and straight back to the truck.
They're expecting a general and that's what they're going to get.
So let's go!
Get on. Now move it!
Move it. Let's go.
Fall in!
-Pinkley's going to be a general. -Why?
-What for? -Shut up and watch.
First platoon waiting for inspection.
They're very pretty, Colonel.
Very pretty.
-But can they fight? -Yes, sir.
l hope you're right.
Where are you from, son?
Madison City, Missouri, sir.
Never heard of it.
Major, we've got work to do.
Thank you, Colonel.
Hold it down!
Pull a stunt like that again, l'll beat your brains out.
l bet you you don't....
Fall them into a column of 2, then have them move out.
Yes, sir.
Fall into column of twos on me.
Fall out!
Forward, march!
Some people might consider you a first-class officer...
...but as far as l'm concerned...
...you're a disorganized, undisciplined clown.
l'll make it my business to run you out of this Army.
l owe you an apology, Colonel.
l always thought that you were a cold, unimaginative, tightlipped officer.
But you're really...
...quite emotional.
Aren't you?
-Watch yourself. -Look out, will you?
-Here, hold this! -Let's go!
Do you believe this guy?
All right, baby. We're coming!
Come on, let's go!
You're in the way.
What's the matter with you guys?
-Listen, buster. -Keep your hands off me!
Now take it easy.
We just want to ask you a few questions.
Questions?
Hold him!
You son of a....
ln the gut so it feels good.
That's the way!
Talk, you bastard. Who are you?
-Number 9, you crumb. -Number 9.
You going to tell us?
Go to hell.
Hold him.
Where the hell are your dog tags?
l ate them.
You ate them?
You going to tell us now?
Yeah.
Number 9!
What happened?
They tried...
...to make me talk.
Where have you been?
-What happened to him? -He slipped on a bar of soap.
Everybody's slipping on soap around here.
Of all the miserable....
Who?
Reisman had some ''paras'' jump him.
-Major did this? -Gave him a pretty hard time.
Well?
Well, what?
Did he tell them anything?
Are you crazy?
3 wise men.
Trust your Major.
l'd rather trust Hitler.
Move it out.
Come on, move it!
You'll find this easier than our jump tower in training.
At your stations!
On the bramble bush
Are all so big and white
But if you wish to pluck one
As sure as you are born
The bramble bush will stick you
With its
Prickly thorn And the pretty girl
Morgan!
They should be here any minute. Better get the men together.
-We'll use your hut for tonight. -Our hut?
Your hut.
Yes, sir!
Right away, sir.
All right, lke and Mike...
...get on your feet.
Let's go.
Move it!
What are you, the Gold Dust Twins?
-Do you need a special invitation? -No, sir.
-l mean, yes, sir. -Then move it.
That's T.S., Greek. Why don't you tell it to the chaplain?
All right, you foul-ups, get over to the M.P. hut!
The man wants to talk to you. Move it!
Off it now. Let's get going!
So this is how the other half lives.
Get going!
-We're not going to the junior prom! -Pretty sweet, huh?
-Better floor boards. -Even electricity.
-Nice to be rich. -What does he want to see us for?
Look at those pictures!
Horny bunch of mothers.
Give them a little air, boys.
Hold it, Jiminez.
Okay, Sarge.
Jump School didn't kill you, maybe that stuff will.
Your training's about over...
...and l figured that entitles you to a graduation ball or something.
You have cups and glasses.
Wheel them in.
Shall l say they're with the Major's compliments?
Hell, no! Say it's part of their training.
Where are we?
Somebody in this truck has a cold nose.
Get off my foot!
What's your name, soldier?
lt's an army barrack.
l'm not one for orgies, myself. We should have asked for more money.
Pigs!
You sinners.
Good evening.
l'm already too worn out to work.
Right this way, ladies.
Good evening, Major.
Only got 8. lt's like cops. lf you really want one...
...you can't find one. Good evening!
Good evening, Admiral.
Blimey, they're filthy!
They may be, lady, but they sure do mean well.
All present and accounted for, Major.
You gentlemen will be on duty again at 06:00 hours in the morning.
Oddly, the same amount of time these ladies have allotted to be your guests.
l suggest that you use that time to get...
...acquainted.
l don't believe Mr. Maggott would care to indulge...
...so l suggest you save some whiskey for him when he gets off of duty.
Good night, gentlemen. Ladies.
Good night, Colonel.
-You crazy? -Let's go. We might inhibit them.
You want to bet?
Yes, you, Major Reisman!
l saw those filthy strumpets.
You're turning this place into a bottomless pit of vice!
Comes Judgment Day...
...and Judgment Day is coming...
...those men, they'll suffer eternal damnation...
...because of you, Major!
Keep your mouth shut, and your eyes open.
You're on guard duty, Maggott.
Want to dance?
There's no music.
Try humming.
All right, girls, you want to lose those wraps?
You think those guys realize tomorrow's Mother's Day?
ls it?
Now they're doing it to music.
This is a restricted area, sir.
-l know that. -2 groups, 3 ranks in.